The Venom of Domestic Violence

The Venom Of Domestic ViolenceOne woman's storyPart 1ByMallika Ramachandran P.E

As the venom of domestic violence spreads far and wide, is there no one to question this atrocity. The potency of the venom crosses all age, gender, socio-economic, and cultural barriers. No one is immune from it. It rears its ugly head and strikes the least expecting, swiftly and suddenly. Or at least it is how it feels. While the marauder (predator) is plotting behind the scene stealthy, the prey is being vowed and cajoled. This is the beginning; the carrot is dangled in front of the unsuspecting and lured into the trap. A small fish is cast to bring in the big fish.

It could happen to you, it happened to me - no not me, I was in denial for a very long time, until a recent eye-opening incident. I was jolted into the chilling reality of my situation. So who is the typical abuser? Personally, it could be anyone, though there are some typical traits. To name a few, they are manipulators, controllers, gamblers of some form, they like sterile environment and rigid routines. Systematically, they isolate their prey from family and friends. By now they know all your weakness and trigger points, and use them to discredit, degrade and disarm you. Your self-esteem has been stripped; emotionally, mentally and physically you are drained in trying to live up to the aggressor expectations.

While the invisible disease rampages inside the home, the caring charmer to his advantage works family and friends behind the scene. You start to feel unreal and begin to question your own sanity. Actually this is a good sign - that you start questioning your own sanity in the midst of the treachery that has been weaved around you. He will coerce you in your moments of illness to sign over power of authority, sale of property, signature on refund checks - of course you will never see any of it.

If you stand up to him he sets out to destroy you systematically. He will use your kids as a pawn in the dynamics of domestic violence. He will threaten to take away your children and blackmail you. Eventually, he will brainwash your kids too - sophisticatedly referred to as parental alienation. He jeopardizes your career and financially cripples you. He uses your medical condition and intentional sets out to exacerbate your condition. It is so subtle, can you prove any of this - maybe if you have tons of money and resources at your disposal. Powerless, hopeless, weak and without anyone who beliefs you, what do you do. Nothing stops him - so it seems. Restraining orders - his actions are misdemeanors I am informed. Certain amount of harassment is common during divorce I am enlightened. Document everything I am advised - and I have, but for what end I cry.

Suavely he manipulates the legal system to his advantage. He uses the unsuspecting authority powers to do his dirty work without getting his hands dirt. He walks among the elite, the educated, mingles with the right crowd. He is well-dressed, charming, educated, good conversationalist - I think this is the worst kind of predator and I ended up with one. Again back to my query, is there is there no one to question this atrocity, is there no one who can stand up to him and stop him. As portrayed in the Ramayana the despair of Sita ricochets in my chest.