Dear Quill: Will a guy respect you more if you wait to have sex with him or does it not even matter at all? My male friend told me that a man doesn’t look at you any differently; if you both want each other it doesn’t matter. However, I think having sex too early messes up your future relationship up. What do you think? Thank you – Keep it real, please.
Dear Keep it Real: Ok, you’re right about that … sorta. There is such thing as having sex too early in a relationship, and it can very well mess things up. However, there is no set time to wait either. I’ve heard that a lot of women think that you should wait at least six months before having sex with someone. Well, I hate to say it, but a guy could simply be putting up a front the entire six months and then get what he wants. It is never about how much time you spend with the person you’re interested in. What matters is how honest both of you are with each other. Quality not quantity. Ya dig?
Dear Quill: I was wondering: how do you approach your roommate that acts like she’s your best friend but she goes back and talks bad about you to your other friends? Before we were roommates, we were best friends. The minute we became roommates we drifted apart because she won’t be truthful to me. How do I approach her? – Wondering
Dear Wondering: If she talks behind your back then you already know what kind of friend she is. Now just be choosy about the information you give up to her. The best way to confront someone, when you don’t know where exactly you stand, is respectfully. Coming at her with an attitude will only fan the fire. I would simply ask her what’s the deal. Ask her direct questions; that way she can’t weasel out of them. If it becomes clear that you two are no longer friends and the relationship is beyond reconciliation, then the only thing you can do at that point is chalk one up to experience.
Dear Quill: How do I tell if a girl likes me or just wants to be friends? Sometimes I feel like I have feelings towards a lot of girls; what’s up with that? – Confused
Dear Confused: If you want to know how the girl feels about you, ask her. There are ways to ask how she perceives her relationship with you without making you look like an idiot. Obviously you know this girl, so that means you’re familiar with her personality, at least a little bit. If she likes you as anything more than a friend, it will come up eventually. As far as your “feelings” for all these girls goes, you can’t have strong feelings for everybody. And you shouldn’t like someone just because they like you. That doesn’t get you anywhere, and you’ll just end up settling for less than what you actually wanted in the first place. Find your fit. One of the keys to a fruitful life is learning to be content with yourself.