Married students cope with separation from spouses

With Valentine’s Day nearly upon us, thoughts turn to romance, or lack thereof, in our lives. For many college students, it’s a day to appreciate a boyfriend or girlfriend or perhaps begin a new relationship. Marriage will not be on many traditional students’ minds, it will be the only thing Daysha Williams Scruggs is thinking of this year as she celebrates her second Valentine’s Day as a married woman. Scruggs, 20, has been married since September 2002, the second semester of her sophomore year at Winston-Salem State. Her husband, Thomas E. Scruggs, Jr. is an E-4 in the Army and has been stationed in Baghdad since April 2003. Scruggs stayed behind in the U.S. to finish her degree, and the couple was forced to spend almost their entire first year of marriage apart. Because of her age, Scruggs says she has matured in many ways, going from living on campus to taking on an apartment and bills. Friends change too, Scruggs says, because they are still in the “single mentality.” Though it is a big change, Scruggs enjoys the added support that married life affords her. “He makes sure I don’t want for nothing… he’s a great provider,” she said. Although she misses her husband and remains concerned for his safety, she says it’s much easier to concentrate on her studies when he’s not around. When he comes home Scruggs finds she’s late,misses class, and distracted, all because she wants to be home her with husband.”He’s a good man. I didn’t think I could love him any more than I did when we got married. It became totally unconditional.” Scruggs is due to graduate in May, and her husband will be home on leave to celebrate with her. Then the couple is off to Germany to finally truly begin their life together. “I never thought I would be able to put someone else not beside me, but in front of me,” she said. Scruggs may have an unusual story for a 20-year-old college student, but the truth is she is not alone. Sheena Watson, 20, is also a senior at WSSU, and her story is strikingly similar. Watson married her husband, Lennard Watson, 20, in October. By November, Lennard was in Iraq serving as an army medic, and returned to his military base in Fort Polk, Louisiana just 2 days after the two were married. Lennard, also a student at WSSU,majoring in nursing, had to put his educational plans aside, at least temporarily. Sheena said it’s easier with him gone, educationally speaking. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and she agrees it’s true. She added that she has learned to appreciate the small things. “We used to talk every day, now it’s once a week, sometimes its not even that, there are weeks when I don’t get a call at all,” she said. “That’s when I start to worry”Her friends are very supportive.”We talk about it,” she said. But this year, Valentine’s Day for the Watsons will be via air mail, chocolates, letters and perhaps hope for the future-a future that looks bright for both of them. Lennard wants to finish his education and continue his military career and Sheena, an education major, said she plans to teach on-base wherever they get stationed. When asked about the limitations of teaching overseas, she responded, “I just want to be with him.” Both Sheena and Daysha are both enjoying the married life, but it’s not as easy as it looks. “It’s a lot of sacrifice, and takes a certain maturity level,” Watson said. “You have to be strong-minded, [because] people will always have something to say.” Both couples are anxiously awaiting the time when Valentine’s Day can be spent with the ones they love.